The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer – Entry #25



Dear  Diary

A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity

January 23, 2019

You may think that being a Phantom Tire Buyer with a secret identity would be a glamorous life.  But I am in the midst applying for a passport, and believe me, it’s been vexing.  Of course, I used my secret identity for the form, but then I came across a field that asked whether I ever used an alias.  What could I do, dear diary.  I can’t lie.  It just isn’t something I’m able to do.  So I responded that yes, I do indeed go by another name:  The Phantom Tire Buyer.

After sending in the form, it occurred to me that I may have made a mistake.  Somewhere in the Passport Authorization Building there is a clerk who will receive a passport application from a person who sometimes calls himself…well, you know.  Alas, I fear that may raise some “red flags” as they say.  Imagine that you were unfortunate enough never to have heard of my good friend Chip Wood or even Tire Discounters.  Certainly, my being a Phantom Tire Buyer makes perfect sense when one understands the context.  But what if you don’t?

Ah well, it appears that I may have some explaining to do.  But how?

To be continued…