The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer #88

A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity

Everyone knows that my favorite tune in all the world is the Tire Discounters jingle.  I love it when that happy tune runs repeatedly through my head, sometimes for hours at a time.  If you haven’t heard it yet, it goes like this: Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire Discounters!   Well, actually it’s more like:  Tirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre Discounters!  The “r” is extended through some kind of singing gymnastics.  But when I write it down, for some reason extending the “i” makes much more sense to me. 

This is important.  The lyrics of the song (admittedly, they are rather spare) need to accurately represent the sounds of the song in question.  I’ve timed the jingle, and it lasts for three and a half seconds.  And, while this is by no means a logical deduction based on hard data, I have come to the conclusion that the song, as sung, contains exactly 21 “i’s”.  Or “r’s” if that’s your preference. 

Now you may be thinking, why is The Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity so concerned with such seemingly humdrum matters.  Well, let’s imagine for a moment that my close personal friend, Chip Wood, and his faithful retinue might want to spell out the jingle in print?   Crazy, you think?  Maybe.  Or, maybe to the innovator behind free alignment with standard 4-tire installation – maybe it’s just crazy enough to work!