A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity
I stopped into a local coffee restaurant the other day. It has a rather curious name: “Starbucks”. I was looking forward to re-reading an email from my good friend Chip Wood about a couple of tires that Tire Discounters was featuring in March. But before I wrapped my mind around such straight forward matters as the circumferential grooves in the Pirelli PZero AS +, or the asymmetric design and lateral groove densities of the Kenda Klever S/T KR52, I was stymied by how confusing it was to order a cup of coffee.
As I listened to the customers in front of me, it seemed they were speaking in some sort of quasi-Italian code. Frappacino, Machiaddo, venti…it was all rather disconcerting. When my turn came, I hesitantly stepped up to the register:
“Hello, I’m Phantom Tire Buyer with a secret identity.”
“Hi, I’m Mindy, your barista for today.”
“Oh, no thanks, I’m a tea-totaler. I’d just like a cup of black coffee, please.”
“Um, black is fine.”
“Yes, all right, I’ll just fix you up with our Pike brew, okay?”
“That sounds interesting…”
“It certainly is”, I replied. I felt this neutral response was the best course of action.
I did get my coffee, and was soon back in my comfort zone, enjoying what was quite a decent cup of Joe, re-immersed in the clear and beautiful language of rubber. Oh my! The new Pirelli boasts of larger grooves between blocks…ah, music to my ears.