The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer #33

A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity

Dear Diary,

I was in line recently at my local grocer’s, when I happened to overhear a conversation between the husband and wife who were behind me.  “Which tire store was it that we’re going to”, the wife asked.  The husband’s reply cut me to the quick:

“Doesn’t matter.  They’re all alike.”

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Advanced Driver Assistance Systems (ADAS)

Self-driving vehicles may be a few years away from road domination, but advanced technology systems inside these vehicles are starting to be common place in new vehicles. These features are called Advanced Driver Assistance Systems (ADAS) and are designed to automate, adapt and enhance vehicle systems for safety and better driving.

These safety systems are specifically designed to avoid accidents by offering technologies that alert the driver to potential problems, or to avoid collisions by implementing safeguards. From automatic parking, to lane departure warnings to blind spot monitoring, these new systems are improving safety for all drivers.

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The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer #32


A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity!

Dear Diary,

When I was a young Phantom, my formative years involved a lot of tinkering with alignment racks, mastering hand-torquing and learning the ins and outs of computer spin-balancing.  With all that, I would sometimes congratulate myself on my new found technical “wizardry”.

My friends, I was naïve.  Recently, my good friend, Chip Wood, invited me to see Tire Discounters’ latest industry-leading innovation:  a complex system designed to re-calibrate Advanced Driver Assistance Systems, aka, ADAS.  Wow!  Just wow. 

The Phantomobile has many years and miles on it, so it wasn’t until I experienced a ride in a 2018 vehicle that I gained a true appreciation of today’s ADAS system.  I was running some errands with my beloved Aunt Millie, when she pulled aside to attempt to parallel park into a very tight space.  “Oh, I don’t know if we’ll fit in that space, Auntie”, I said.  She responded by smiling broadly, pressing a button and lifting her hands off the wheel!  Well, you sophisticated readers know what happened:  the car parked itself!

I don’t pretend to be an expert on ADAS, but I met one at Tire Discounters.  Mr. Dave Cahill knows these systems backwards and forwards.  It was he who informed me that the systems operated with finely tuned cameras and sensors, and if this equipment wasn’t working properly it could endanger the safety of the driver and passengers. 

So my friends, if your car is equipped with one or more ADAS systems, I implore you to call my friends, the experts at Tire Discounters!

5 Best Spring Break Road Trip Tips

No matter how much care and effort you put into planning, a road trip never seems to go exactly as planned. You might forget your most important item, even if you have a strict packing list. Your child might be prone to car sickness, which might make you queasy, too. Or… and this is a big one… you might get a flat tire.

While we can’t prevent all of the unexpected (or icky) from occurring, we can help you get your tires and car in tip-top shape to tackle your big trip. Here are a few tips to help:

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The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer – #31

Dear  Diary

A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity

Yesterday I had the delightful duty of babysitting for my 5 year-old niece.  She loves to sit and listen to her Uncle Phantom discuss things like tire tread siping, optimum tire pressure, and the dangers involved in putting new tires on a mis-aligned vehicle.  At least, she seems content to listen as long as she’s holding “Kitty”, her stuffed companion, and munching on popcorn and sipping hot chocolate. 

I was segueing into the topic of the dramatic increase of women who have chosen tire industry as a rewarding career path, when her eyes lit up. 

“I already know what I want to be”.

“Really?  That’s wonderful,” I replied.  “A Tire Discounters employee, no doubt?”

“My first choice is that I want to be an archeontologist.”

“I don’t believe I know what that is.”

She rolled her eyes.

“They dig up old rocks and stuff!”

“Oh.  That sounds fascinating”

“And if I can’t do that I want to be teacher.”

“Just like your Mommy!”

“And if I can’t be one of those I’ll be a doctor.”

I must say that I was somewhat disappointed about her lack of desire to join the tire and service industry, but – when being a doctor is your fall back position I suppose you’re on a pretty good track.

The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer – #30


Dear  Diary

A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity

I stopped into a local coffee restaurant the other day.  It has a rather curious name: “Starbucks”.  I was looking forward to re-reading an email from my good friend Chip Wood about a couple of tires that Tire Discounters was featuring in March.  But before I wrapped my mind around such straight forward matters as the circumferential grooves in the Pirelli PZero AS +, or the asymmetric design and lateral groove densities of the Kenda Klever S/T KR52, I was stymied by how confusing it was to order a cup of coffee. 

As I listened to the customers in front of me, it seemed they were speaking in some sort of quasi-Italian code.  Frappacino, Machiaddo, venti…it was all rather disconcerting.  When my turn came, I hesitantly stepped up to the register:

“Hello, I’m Phantom Tire Buyer with a secret identity.”

“Hi, I’m Mindy, your barista for today.”

“Oh, no thanks, I’m a tea-totaler.  I’d just like a cup of black coffee, please.”

“What kind?”

“Um, black is fine.”

“Yes, all right, I’ll just fix you up with our Pike brew, okay?”

“That sounds interesting…”

“Grande?”

“It certainly is”, I replied.  I felt this neutral response was the best course of action. 

I did get my coffee, and was soon back in my comfort zone, enjoying what was quite a decent cup of Joe, re-immersed in the clear and beautiful language of rubber.  Oh my!  The new Pirelli boasts of larger grooves between blocks…ah, music to my ears. 

The Diary of the Phantom Tire Buyer #29

Dear  Diary

A Web Log from A Phantom Tire Buyer with a Secret Identity

March 1, 2019

I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so honored.  My good friend Chip Wood took time out of his busy day to call me on the Phantom Phone yesterday and guess what – he invited me to be a guest at the Tire Discounters Winner’s Circle Awards Dinner!  Be still my heart.  This is the biggest night of the year, and only the best of the best Tire Discounters technicians and store personnel will be in attendance. 

First, I’ll have to carefully clean and launder my cape.  The paparazzi is sure to be outside on the red carpet in full force.  I hope I’ll be able to maintain my professional comportment when interviewed under the lights by the glamorous hosts of “Access Tire and Rubber”. 

I found myself musing about who will win such coveted awards as General Manager of the year, when a thought struck me:  what if we all concentrated less on the final winners and considered that the real honor and victory was the nomination itself!  Wow.  What a radically new way of looking at things.  I’m humbled by the fact that I thought of it.   

Ps:  By extension, maybe the REAL winners are all the people smart enough to be loyal Tire Discounters customers…alignment, so crucial!